Oops, I'm sure that it was in my bag.

It was perhaps inevitable that such a focused group of single minded cricketers should overlook the occasional peripheral matter.

What is the big deal with passports? Such a small document can become so hugely significant. 

Sadly one of our number, and he should know better, was so overcome by the thought of a sea of red trousers that his elusive passport skipped lightly from his hand prior to arrival at Heathrow. The conversion to red has been a long and difficult path, but has now taken a firm grip within the squad.

Fortunately he had always wanted to return to Mumbai, the gateway of BEWCCs first passage to India, and was only too happy to take a later flight and connection.

Rumours that this was all a careful ruse to allow the final half of England's World Cup qualifier to be heard on the radio, and to miss a compelling seminar in India, are utterly false.

What a plonker!